Dream

I fell asleep really early last night watching something on animal planet with Ryan about the Chupacabra. But I ended up waking up really early also because I had a really fucked up dream.

Me, Cetta,  and my cousin Megan were having a party at my house and we invited everyone. We had this book….. it was a book of a night when we were kids where we were doing seances. Calling up the dead and shit. I guess a ton of deep shit happened that night. Like it was a super painful memory or something and it was one of the first times I saw someone since due to circumstances. The person hugged me and told me he missed me but he had to go and couldn’t be around me. but the fucking book kept glowing and every time it did it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my body….. and in the end of the dream Megan, Cetta, and I burned the book and we were smoking weed with some friends in my shed..

It was a really really weird dream and it creeped me out. I don’t even know what to think of it.

Other than that my depression seems to be getting better. I didn’t have to go back on any meds thank god. It was probably just the winter blues. The cold can be depressing sometimes.

Ryan was supposed to get his picture taken at school today since he missed the original pictures day. His teacher sent him down there and everything. But instead of getting them taken he LEFT the line because he felt it was “taking too long”. Sometime’s I don’t know what’s up with that kid.

I finished most of my Christmas shopping already!!! All I have left is Justin. I need to start trying to make more money so I can pay them off quickly this year. A lot of the stuff I got from Avon so it wasn’t too expensive.

Time to get Ryan off to school.

Frank The Baptist – If I Speak

If I speak much louder
Will you hear me where you are?
I’ll light that beacon now
I drank enough to drown
What life has offered as a gift
My broken heart can’t swim
I opened up a door
To find out where my heros went
Is my heart like theirs now?
One more lotus on the shore
And we may never sail again
Dream, dream, take me back again
After you there’s nothing left
If I speak much louder
Will you hear me where you are?
I’ll light that beacon now
If I let the pull of yearning
Steal me from this course
You’ll never find mee then
One more lotus on the shore
And we may never sail again
Dream, dream, take me back again
After you there’s nothing left
I drank enough to drown
What life had offered as a gift
My broken heart can’t swim
I pushed aside a world
To find one suitable for us
Just listen and we’re there
One more lotus on the shore
And we may never sail again
Dream, dream, take me back again
After you there’s nothing left